October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. The sermon below was preached today at the Episcopal Church Center by the Rev. Jayne Oasin ( joasin@episcopalchurch.org ).
Sermon for
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
October 12, 2006
Episcopal Church Center
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
October 12, 2006
Episcopal Church Center
SAFETY – a word that many of us have traditionally taken for granted perhaps prior to 9/11 and even the tragic event yesterday. Safety – a simple word that most of the rest of the world has not been able ever to take for granted
Webster’s Dictionary defines SAFETY as Freedom from danger, injury, or the threat of harm such as
A Place where one is free of worry from potential harm
And it gives as the
example of safety -- “as safe as you are at home”
Well the irony is that for many, HOME IS THE LEAST SAFE PLACE OF ALL
When I decided to speak about safety today, I assumed that there would be several passages in the Scriptures that spoke about safety. Much to my surprise there were very few that spoke directly to the idea of safety and fewer that spoke about the safety of a home. In two passages, safety was used to speak about holding a prisoner in safety so that he couldn’t escape but somehow that didn’t convey the meaning I wanted. Perhaps that is why many people and sadly, many ministers and priests don’t seem to understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and what it really means to be and to feel safe in the family home.
In my time of serving in a domestic violence shelter, I listened with sadness and horror to the stories of how many of our colleagues, who are good men who have dedicated their lives to serving God, yet who nevertheless sent women and men back home to their abusive partners in the mistaken theology that going back home to the abuser is the best way to preserve the unity of the family. This is bad theology, my friends and I reject it. It springs from a place of power and control that negates all of the principles of love and care given to us by our Savior Jesus Christ. Some Jewish friends of mine shared with me the concept that in a Jewish home, the woman alone is responsible for keeping the family together and while that sense may not be explicitly stated in other denominations, often it is implicitly felt and so women and men, hundreds of thousands of them annually go home, go home to more abuse and often, death.
And the story does not end there - their children, the children who witness this abuse, day after day, month after month and are themselves abused, those who actually survive, carry the physical and emotional scars with them for a lifetime. Their daughters make unwise marital choices, often marrying abusive men themselves and their sons, are almost 75% more likely to grow up to be abusers themselves, have substance abuse problems and often spend many years in prison. So SAFETY is neither a word nor a feeling that is familiar to them.
I wish, sincerely I wish, that this sermon could have a happy ending. But it does not. Abuse continues and the most that we can do is to keep both the abused and the abusers in our prayers because most people who abuse have themselves been victims of abuse. And we can watch for the signs of abuse and continue to work to identify possible victims and help them to get to a safe place and pray and work to help them gain a sense of their own empowerment. We can lobby our legislators to pass more stringent legislation to protect the victims of abuse and we can examine the seeds of violence in ourselves that contribute to an overall climate of violence in our society.
And we can offer to victims and victimizers the assurance that God is present in every situation and that there is no place, no place, no place where God is not.
And we can dedicate ourselves to work for peace and safety for allLet us pray…Sheltering God…Amen
Webster’s Dictionary defines SAFETY as Freedom from danger, injury, or the threat of harm such as
A Place where one is free of worry from potential harm
And it gives as the
example of safety -- “as safe as you are at home”
Well the irony is that for many, HOME IS THE LEAST SAFE PLACE OF ALL
When I decided to speak about safety today, I assumed that there would be several passages in the Scriptures that spoke about safety. Much to my surprise there were very few that spoke directly to the idea of safety and fewer that spoke about the safety of a home. In two passages, safety was used to speak about holding a prisoner in safety so that he couldn’t escape but somehow that didn’t convey the meaning I wanted. Perhaps that is why many people and sadly, many ministers and priests don’t seem to understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and what it really means to be and to feel safe in the family home.
In my time of serving in a domestic violence shelter, I listened with sadness and horror to the stories of how many of our colleagues, who are good men who have dedicated their lives to serving God, yet who nevertheless sent women and men back home to their abusive partners in the mistaken theology that going back home to the abuser is the best way to preserve the unity of the family. This is bad theology, my friends and I reject it. It springs from a place of power and control that negates all of the principles of love and care given to us by our Savior Jesus Christ. Some Jewish friends of mine shared with me the concept that in a Jewish home, the woman alone is responsible for keeping the family together and while that sense may not be explicitly stated in other denominations, often it is implicitly felt and so women and men, hundreds of thousands of them annually go home, go home to more abuse and often, death.
And the story does not end there - their children, the children who witness this abuse, day after day, month after month and are themselves abused, those who actually survive, carry the physical and emotional scars with them for a lifetime. Their daughters make unwise marital choices, often marrying abusive men themselves and their sons, are almost 75% more likely to grow up to be abusers themselves, have substance abuse problems and often spend many years in prison. So SAFETY is neither a word nor a feeling that is familiar to them.
I wish, sincerely I wish, that this sermon could have a happy ending. But it does not. Abuse continues and the most that we can do is to keep both the abused and the abusers in our prayers because most people who abuse have themselves been victims of abuse. And we can watch for the signs of abuse and continue to work to identify possible victims and help them to get to a safe place and pray and work to help them gain a sense of their own empowerment. We can lobby our legislators to pass more stringent legislation to protect the victims of abuse and we can examine the seeds of violence in ourselves that contribute to an overall climate of violence in our society.
And we can offer to victims and victimizers the assurance that God is present in every situation and that there is no place, no place, no place where God is not.
And we can dedicate ourselves to work for peace and safety for allLet us pray…Sheltering God…Amen
For more information on domestic abuse, including downloadable resources for programs that your church might implement, go to http://endabuse.org/.
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